Life is everything. But life is nothing. However, life can be anything. Such is the nature of life, baffling all the logic my mind has managed to build. Life is the very foundation of my self. Yet there is no certainty of life. My foundation is shaky. That is why I am shaky.
When I feel weak and confused, I wish I could get some clarity about myself. I wish I could see through my mind. My mind is opaque. Or maybe, it is like a muddy pond. I cannot see the depths. I wish if I could go to an alternate space, where I can look at myself without any bias. Where I am not I am but I can see what I am. "Give me a space to stand, I will move the earth", assures the Euler's rotation theorem. It is this space that I need. Just to stand. But I must still be where I used to be. Maybe, on the earth. Then, give me such a space to stand, I will move myself. How impossible! It is in such situations, that I feel helpless.
That is where Grothendiek looks strange to me. He gives no shit about the abstractions of life. Life is pathetically real to him. Bloody life. I mean it. Bloody life. Those who need true peace should sever all ties with the rest of the world. After all, what is the rest of the world? In abstraction, an imaginary axis with no foundation at all. Even if it has a foundation, the axis of peace is orthoganal to it. The axis of evil being fully isomorphic. Grothendiek went to Andorra. Perelman locked himself in his appartment. Nietzsche decided to become a lunatic. When does one know that there is nothing more to do, nothing more to gain, and nothing more to lose? Again a difficult riddle.
I am not living in seclusion. I am living in an extremely over-crowded Chennai. Does that mean I do not love true peace? Does the reverse hypothesis always happen to be true? It is rather a question of causality.
When I asked for a packet of buiscuits, the lady, who invoked all my carnal desires, told me if I buy two packets, I will get one free. So I bought two and got three. Post-postmodern times are like that. God has already revealed it in his notebook. You will get it free what you do not need. If you ask for what you need, hot iron will be impaled into your anus.
Once a man asked God who is a happy man. Here, like in all other stories, the man and God are males. Such stories do not include women, for they are the weeker sex. God replied that a happy man is he, who never finds the need to ask the question 'what is the meaning of life'. How can I ensure that I will never ask that question, the man asked. God said, cook your food yourself every time and every day in your life. The man followed God's words and lived happily for long time until the women found out. They became jealous and enslaved all the men on earth and made the decree: Henceforth, we will cook the food in every household and will never allow the men even to enter the kitchen. Thenceforth, men started asking the question: is there a meaning at all for my life? Thus, they became confused and the women became iron-willed.
The end:-)
