IFFK'09

The year 2009, for me, is ending with the International Film Festival of Kerala in Trivandrum. It was indeed a great joy to be a part of IFFK once again, though this time movies that can be classified as "extra-ordinary" were missing. In 2007 we had "Pan's Labyrinth", "Bad Education", "XXY", "Talk to Her", etc., and in 2008 we had "The Class", "Kedma", "Laila's Birthday", "Bad Habits", "Katie's Sister", etc.; they all gave me unforgettable feelings. However, such movies are missing this time, or else, perhaps, I have missed to watch them. Movies were "good", but none of them were "excellent" or "moving"; they were unable to catch my breath!
Of course, Goddard's "Pierrot Goes Wild" was a different experience. Then there was the South African "My Secret Sky" by Madoda Ncayiyana; it was quite refreshing; great direction; great acting by child actors; excellent--Yes!
"Step into the Darkness" was very nice and contemporary. "The Moment of Truth" and "More than a Miracle" were very charming. I watched two Malayalam films: "Pathaam Nilayile Theevandi" and "Sufi Paranja Katha". Both were not up to the standard. I wonder how the first one got the award for the Best Malayalam film in the festival; may be others are even worse. I would like to advice the actors, especially Jayasurya, to watch "My Secret Sky" and learn acting from those child actors; I have nothing to suggest to the director, because the direction was nothing above mediocre. The film was full of unnecessary dramatic sounds in every scene; perhaps, they were trying to compensate poor acting and direction with sound, thereby trying to bring the effects whatsoever they intended!

Dedicated Film Lover: We watched "My Secret Sky" sitting on the floor! (My friend Vimal in picture).

Due to some health reasons, I missed "The Antichrist", which has made some waves among the audience; some even fainted by watching it! Many criticises this movie saying that it is a violent movie with the overones of sexual acts. From what I know about the theme, I believe that people are missing the message; they still live caught among the confusions of morality and mediocrity.

Still I enjoyed the festival, for it is not only about the movies, but also roaming around in Thiruvananthapuram, rubbing shoulders with film-lovers! And, for me, it is very great and nostalgic to spend time in a Malayalam speaking land at least for a few days. If I am in Tamil Nadu, I have to construct the sentences in Tamil before I can speak, otherwise it is English. But it is a very delightful experience to speak without searching for words and caring for the grammar. I know that this is very typical for anyone who is staying away from home for a long time; yet, this is special for me because, now, I am experiencing it.

Tamil Nadu's "activity based learning" gets recognition from China

Yet another reason to smile: "China seeks state expertise on activity based learning method" (ref. The Hindu, Front page, Nov 16, 2009, http://www.hindu.com/2009/11/16/stories/2009111657980100.htm).

Tamil Nadu government and education department can be very proud of this, along with the central government; and thus, all Indians can too. The Hon. Adviser, Sarva Shiksha Abhiyan, Tamil Nadu, Mr. M.P. Vijayakumar says "... The Chinese delegation was impressed with the way our students of government schools were enthusiastic in classrooms because of the interactive learning and teaching style". Once again, this proves the importance and efficacy of activity based learning.

Kerala has a state designed system of similar kind for government schools. It is called District Primary Education Programme (DPEP) and is supported by the World Bank. People were very scared of this system, and still they feel that this system will only spoil the education of the children who study in government schools. They feel that the rich people will send their children to private schools, where DPEP is not established, and the poor students have to "suffer from DPEP". And they feel that teaching students through "dancing, singing, collecting all the unwanted stuff from the surroundings, etc." will make them morons!

I don't know what is the difference between the activity based learning in Tamil Nadu and DPEP. However, I believe, from my own experience, that learning by doing is more effective than learning from the usual lectures and through writing exams. If I take the sum of all what I have learned, say in engineering, the amount I learned from lectures will be insignificantly small; I learned more myself by direct reading, thinking, experimenting, and discussing with my peers.

I hope things will change and education system will improve. In fact, I know teachers who are steadfast in changing their own teaching methods to make learning process more effective. However, sadly, a vast majority still believes that "we can only teach, it is the student's responsibility to read the books and learn by himself/herself. And if they do not come up to a good level, it is because they don't have aptitude and ability, or because they don't work hard".

I wish to quote what Dr. K. B. M. Namboodiripad, who is the dean of Amrita School of Engineering, Kollam, used to tell us, when I was a lecturer there: "So far teachers have been focusing on the quality of their teaching. Our objective is to shift the focus from teaching to learning". How thrilling, intelligent, wise and moving are these words! Aren't they? Yes, like those of Karl Marx's: "Philosophers have defined the world in many ways. The point is to change it".

--Sandeep Palakkal

What I see out my window: A photo by Sandeep.

Nov. 12, 2009,
Chennai.
In the last June Sandeep woke up to a usual hot lazy Saturday morning. He opened the back door of his hostel room and witnessed a beautiful scene of love. And he captured it. It is published here: http://whatiseeoutmywindow.blogspot.com/2009/08/sandeeps-temporary-view-in-chennai.html

Ekakiyute Nottepusthakam: A Malayalam Blog from Sandeep Palakkal

Palakkal Times,
9th November 2009.
by Staff Reporter.

Chennai: After maintaining his English blog http://sandeeppalakkal.blogspot.com for longer time than he expected, Mr. Sandeep Palakkal has launched his second blog, now in Malayalam, here this evening.

Palakkal Times caught him this evening for a brief chat about his new blog. He said it was his long cherished dream to start a Malayalam blog, but he was caught up with the struggles related to his studies, research and work. However, he feels that time will not wait for anyone, and if you want to do something, now is the time for it. He adds that he can't wait for any more, at least in this case. His first blog is a tribute to his mother tongue, and he feels this is the right way he can start his Malayalam blog. He talked about his feeling of alienation from his land, people and, furthermore, his language. He believes that this blog will act as a consolation for him as he can still write in his language what he thinks, feels and enjoys. However, he feels that there is nothing special about this blog as there are "talented Malayalam bloggers" around the world with whom he cannot compete.

His blog address is http://entenottupusthakam.blogspot.com/. He explains that "ente nottupusthakam" in Malayalam means "my note book", which he chose as a coinage to his English blog title "Notebook of a Lonely Wander". When asked whether the readers can expect good articles in his new blog, he replied that he was not worried about it, and his sole intention of writing is "not to be read, but to enjoy the inexorable pleasure of writing".

Kerala Varma Pazhassi Raja: A movie

Wonderful! Excellent! Spectacular! Adjectives fail me to describe this work of art: Pazhassiraja, a Malayalam movie about the King Pazhassiraja from Kerala, who fought against the British East India Company in the beginning of 19th century, it is directed by Hariharan for M.T. Vasudevan Nair's script. I am not the one who can write reviews of movies. Let me attempt to describe how I enjoyed this movie.

From beginning to end the movie is tight, breathtaking. Every scene has suspense, and I had to eagerly wait to see things happening. Direction is really good, so disciplined and careful. The movie was more than three hours, but I never felt bored (I was reminded of "Seven Samurai"). The director Hariharan has used every character in the movie very well. Everyone has definite roles except for Dora Baber, I don't know why she got a place in the movie--is it for creating some sentimense? However, the character is funny.

The cinematography is excellent. There are a few visually charming scenes throughout the movie. Especially, there is always the presence of the forest in the movie, which is exploited well. The scene in which a white horse is running through the river, Mammootty taking bath in the river, the camera work in the scene where the "Pazhassi pattalam" (the army of Raja Pazhassi) is shown at the Telecheri fort while the King Pazhassi signs a treaty of peace with the British are very good. And there is the introduction of Sarathkumar--excellent. The fight scenes are also very good.

Regarding acting, I have nothing to say. Every actor has done his / her part very well. Sarathkumar is really fantastic. From his introduction to his death, he was like a fire on the screen. His body structure, agility, proud look, everything is superb. (While watching the movie my mother asked me who that actor was, she felt he was a good actor. I told her, in fact, he really is. This is the debut film for Sarathkumar in Malayalam.) And there comes Padmapriya. Maybe, a female character doing so much stunt is for the first time in Malayalam cinema. She has put immense effort into every scene, especially in action scenes. Has she dubbed for herself? Her Malayalam is not natural but good. If she has dubbed herself, great--keep it up! Characters played by Suresh Menon and Manoj K. Jayan are also good. Suresh Menon is becoming better and better, he has to put more effort to improve his facial expressions. However, compared to his other movies, he acted very well in this one. I have nothing to say about Mammootty, I could never say if he was acting--so natural a performance. Excellent are the performances by other actors like Devan, Suman, Jagathy Sreekumar, Jagadeesh and the actors who gave life to the British characters.

I will never forget the fight scenes. They looked really real. Swordfights by Mammootty and Sarathkumar, and fights using bow and arrow by Manoj K. Jayan and Padmapriya, are taken well. The director and stunt director have taken much care to make the scenes natural, fierce and real. We can really feel the spark when two swords are crossed.

The end was nice though I have the opinion that it resembles like the end of the Hollywood movie "300".

Another thing not to forget to write down is the dialogues. Once again M.T. Vasudevan Nair proved his mettle by using the Malayalam language in the most elagant way. Each dialogue is beautiful, poetic, sparkling and unforgettable.

Someone asked me if it is an art movie or commercial movie. What can I say? I can't distinguish. It is a great work of art, and it is commercial--it attracts people, that's all. Any way, I experienced multiple goosefleshes throughout the movie. And there were long-standing ovations and whistles for every stunning scene, performance and dialogue. I think most of the applause went to Sarathkumar as he had to put more stunts and fights than anyone else in the movie. I confess that I want to see the movie once again.

While searching the internet, I discovered this blog: http://malabardays.blogspot.com/. The blogger Mr. Nick Balmer claims to be the great great great great nephew of Thomas Harvey Baber, the British sub-collector of Thalassery under whose command Pazhassiraja was killed eventually in 1805. Thomas's account of Pazhassi's death is put up by Mr. Balmer in his blog.

Paragon of stupidity...

Thus leaves me yet another month: October.  This month I have done a lot of blunders.  Very frequently I was caught up in awkward situations, and most of the time, my reactions were shamefully foolish.  This reminded me of the limitations of life, as I have written in a previous blog.  Maybe, I will argue that the knowledge of my limitations helped me to accept my foolishness, overcome it and stay calm.  It helped me not to loose my self-respect yet.  In the past, it was my arrogance and self-pride that helped me to stay calm in difficult situations.  But in situations where I look foolish, arrogance will not help; on the other hand, it may aggravate my shame.  This is where self-pity, not in the usual sense, but in the most profound sense, helps me stay calm.

Self-pity, for the weak man, is self-denouncement or self-negation, but for the strong, it is the knowledge of the "edges"--the boundaries, the limitations.  At the same time a strong man will also be aware of the opposite--the limitlessness of man.  Furthermore, only he / she who is aware of the edges knows how vast is the space contained by the edges.  This is very similar to my other favourite thoughts: "only he / she who is aware of the meaninglessness of life knows its meaning," or "only he / she who understands hate knows what is love."  Am I talking about the opposites here?  No, I am just saying there are no opposites--there are only duals.

Thinking about it, I am reminded of a few lines I read a few years back:

"What a piece of work is man! how noble in reason! how infinite in faculty! in form and moving how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals! --and yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me--nor woman neither, though by your smiling you seem to say so."

--William Shakespeare

After all, quoting a man with rich words is much better than writing it down in my poor ones.

--Sandeep Palakkal

"Enlightenment..."

Thor... placed the horn to his lips... . He drank with all his might and kept drinking as long as ever he was able; when he paused to look, he could see that the level had sunk a little, ... for the other end lay out in the ocean itself.

–-P.A. Munch, Norse Mythology
AMS Press, New York, 1970.

Have you ever thought of the amount of all human knowledge so far? Have you ever felt the urge to learn it all? How much can we learn? How much we already know? What is the percentage of all knowledge that we can get? For example we know (at least vaguely) that,

1. Everything around us is made of atoms.

2. There are some particles called electrons.

3. Opposite magnetic poles attract, and the like ones repel.

4. While inhaling atmospheric air, our lungs absorb oxygen.

5. Plant and trees are living beings.

6. Sun light, when passed through a prism, decomposes into seven colours.

7. Fourier transform of a signal represented in time gives its frequency components.

8. Music can be compressed to MP3 format so that the file size is reduced.

9. Every living being on earth has to die.

10. 1+1 = 2 and 1x1 = 1.

Can I ever complete this list? I wonder and wonder about the amount of knowledge we have.

Yet the beauty is this: it is more important to understand one thing rather than knowing it all. This is what my teacher told me today, "Sandeep, you may read a lot and know a lot. But it is when you re-derive your knowledge you really understand them. And enlightenment comes through understanding."

 A particular knowledge may be known to man for a long time. That does not mean that you have understood it. You understand is a different case. And when you understand it in your own way, you see the real beauty--this is the joy of learning.

--Sandeep Palakkal

True Friend

In Malayalam, we have a proverb:  "chengathi nannayal kannadi venda" (i.e., if your friend is good, then you don't need to look at the mirror).  I understand its meaning in more depth now.  However, it is an old proverb, and it is the modern times now.  Hence, I would like to add more to it.  For, there are different types of mirrors now.
A true friend
1. should act as a magnification lens (convex) for you to help see distances unknown to you; helps you to grow more, warns you about the pitfalls on your path and helps you guard yourself,
2. should act as a diminishing  lens (concave) for you against others' blames and scorns at you; insulates you from the pains of the world, by helping you not knowing what you don't need to, and
3. should act as a plain, clean and unbiased mirror so that you can look at it and know more of you, what you are, where you are, including your qualities as well as your limitations.
Besides, a friend should support you in all your deeds, always, at the same time warning you against wrong moves and actions.
I hope my true friends will warn me when I act without reason, boast of myself in any ways, claim myself great and knowledgeable, and against my cupidity, unjustifiable desires and arrogance. I also hope that they will support me in my constructive biases, attitudes and arguments towards life, without which a life is never a life at all.

--Sandeep Palakkal

Tears, silence and some pessimism

On October 5th, 2009, I  woke up to the terrible news of  a huge flood that badly affected Andhra Pradesh and Karnataka.  The photograph in the front page of The Hindu daily was very much disturbing.  No other photo of any calamity or anything else has ever wounded me so deeply before.  Expressing courtesy to The Hindu, let me add a copy of the same here; it is small and of low resolution, unlike the one in the hard copy of the newspaper.  The same, along with that day's news is available here: http://www.hindu.com/2009/10/05/stories/2009100557090100.htm.
The caption reads like this: "SHATTERED HOPE: A woman cries on seeing her submerged house at P. Garlapadu village, about 180 km from Hyderabad, in Mahabubnagar district of Andhra Pradesh on Sunday".

I invite you to take a close look at the picture, see the heartbreaking sorrow on her face.  This is not from a movie that I watch sometime: this is real, so chillingly real.  I don't know why I was deeply hurt by it...  I sat on my bed, wordless, looking at the picture for quite a while.  My mind was trying to imagine what all agonies were going on in  that poor woman's mind.  She must be one from that vast majority of the Indian population who struggle for their everyday meal, who don't have time, knowledge, patience and privilege to think about what people like me are worried about: faster internet connection, technology revolution, IT parks, economic recession, the poor quality of roads, whether Shashi Tharoor was right to use the word "cattle class", whether drinking coco-cola was unhealthy, if Indian movies are up to the mark from the international perspective, whether "The Name of the Rose" is the best novel I've ever read, whether ancient Indian contribution to science and mathematics is rightly acknowledged, whether finding water in moon was important to science at all, what are the best skills an engineer should possess, and so on.  All she used to worry about was just the everyday meal, not even about her children's education or diet, for they were too luxurious for her to afford.  Now, she has lost everything --- everything she has built on through years of hard work, which she can't even dream of doing again.  The loss of all hopes, all dreams, and the knowledge that she has no chance of being happy ever again... a bunch of emotions this emptiness can create in you --- this is what I can read on her face.  She, as her belongings, is encountering a horrifying state of oblivion from which there is no escape.  All she can do is just cry helplessly --- and that is what she is doing.  I feel deeply wounded, very deeply wounded....  I am more and more ashamed thinking of the privileges I am enjoying in this world, and all my complaints, anxieties, self-pride, self-esteem, self-respect, are belittled and silenced at once in front of her tears.

Time and again, we have said that India is yet to grow like the US or UK or France or Malaysia etc., that we don't have good facilities, that our people have no civic sense, that we have no self-respect and so on.  Now I understand the cold reality of the Indian situation, or broadly the human condition on earth.  And I understand my nation, its limitations and its poverty unconditionally.  I am just silenced, and I have no more complaints but only an inner awareness of a new enlightenment on the need to make India, not a super power, a hub of technology and science and business, but, at least, a place for humans to live, loving each other, without the need for  an unjustifiably herculean effort to do so.  She will be (is already) an inspiration for me throughout my life.

--Sandeep Palakkal

On Mullaperiyar and then, on an old brotherhood: continued...

To my previous article "on Mullaperiyar and then, on an old brotherhood", I would like to add something.  This issue should be seen in the light of the recent flood in Andhra Pradesh and Karnataka, and the Telungana Rashtra Samithi chief K. Chandrashekhara Rao's allegation that it was due to the bad and unscientific irrigation works ('Jalayagnam') motivated by bribery and corruption of the late Y.S.R. Reddy-led Congress government that was truly responsible for it, and not the nature's fury.  Whether this allegation is true is yet to be established.  However, taking a disillusioned look at the presence of corruption in the Indian government offices and politics, it may be reasonable to argue that there is a significant probability that this allegation could be true, or something like this can happen.  Forget the corruption story.  Think if something similar happens in Kerala due to the raising of the water level as TN advocates.  Think how horrifying it would be.  Think how much damage it can cause, not only to the lives of the human beings living around the dam, but to the relationship between the states and its peoples!  It will be a great damage to India as a nation.  It is time to take a responsible decision and to act.

On Mullaperiyar and then, on an old brotherhood

Foreword: I am afraid this is a long note, and if a reader does not have the patience to read it fully, it is not surprising. In that case, I urge you to read the end part, for a partial read may result in misunderstandings.

I was wondering about the ongoing dispute between the Kerala and Tamil Nadu governments (luckily not peoples) on the Mullaperiyar dam.  This very dam is inside the Kerala state, but the dam and the surrounding areas are owned by Tamil Nadu (TN).  TN wants to increase the water storage level to 142 feet from the current (I am not sure if it is still current) 136 feet, a move that Kerala opposes, citing that the dam is not strong enough to withstand this and that the surrounding area is heavily crowded by humans; human safety is more important.  Kerala is ready to build a new dam, which TN can continue to use.  But, for some reason or the other, TN does not agree with this proposition.  Kerala was asked to maintain the 142 feet water level by the Hon. Supreme court of India in 2006.  However, the later studies on the safety of the dam, conducted independently by two teams comprising the professors from IIT Roorkee and IIT Delhi, both concluded that the dam was "hydrologically unsafe".  TN has rejected this report, saying that "the study by IITs can't be relied upon", and that another study by the state (TN) has shown that the dam was safe!  I personally don't understand the logic behind this argument.  Kerala has repeatedly informed the Hon. Supreme court of India that it was "more concerned with the safety of our people" (The Hindu, Feb 12, 2009).  And, TN has rejected (on Feb 12, 2009) the Supreme court’s (not Kerala government's) proposal to form an expert committee to examine if the dam can withstand the pressure of the raised water level. Why is this (I will call 'negative') attitude from TN?

A couple of days back TN has gone to the Supreme court again, this time to stay the permission the central government (through the Union Minister of State for Environment and Forests Jairam Ramesh) has given to Kerala to conduct a survey and an investigation in the Periyar Tiger Reserve to find out the possibilities of constructing a new dam in place of the existing Mullaperiyar dam.  What is ironic is that, Ms. Jayalalitha, who is the main political foe of Mr. Karunanidhi, the Hon. Chief Minister (CM) of TN, has hailed this decision of the government!  To see the irony, you must remember that Jayalalitha's appreciation of Karunanidhi's decision came just one day after she had criticized the state's (TN) and the center's move to help the "stateless" Srilankan Tamils who took refuge in India to get settled here by making them permanent citizens.  In reply, DMK (the political front led by Karunanidhi) criticized Jayalalitha "for politicizing the issue" of Srilankan Tamils.  Reading between the lines, it may be relevant to ask a question:  is Mullaperiyar issue a matter of prestige than reason among the political parties of TN?  Because, in all other issues they fight each other, but only in this issue they "stand together"!

Well, I don't intend to construe the situation in any way.  I just asked a question, that's all.  I know how bold a stand Karunanidhi had taken in the past regarding the RAMASETHU issue.  He had stayed with reason and scientific logic than religious feelings and mythology.  He did not change his stand even after most of the Indian leaders deplored his comments in the later days.  This demands great respect.  I wish if he takes the similar stand in the Mullaperiyar issue also.  To grow above ones own biases and prejudices and stand with the logic is not only heroic but very much required to maintain amity between the societies, and we expect this quality more from the leaders because their responsibilities are greater.

Now let me tell you why I suddenly wrote this article.  There are mainly two reasons: out of concern and out of love.  First, let me explain my concern.  Today, Kerala's water resource minister Mr. N.K. Premachandran said that the response of the TN's recent move for a stay on the survey will be "strong protest".  I don't understand the logic behind this either.  First of all, there is a speculation that the TN's attitude is due to political reasons than logical.  In  that case, how can a "strong protest", however strong that may be, help?  If I were the minister, I would have understood the special nature of the situation and tried in all possible ways (through discussions, dialogues, meetings and every democratic and diplomatic means) to convince the TN government and its people the seriousness and truth of the situation and the need for constructing a new dam at the earliest.  I would have also listened to all concerns of TN regarding the new dam and taken measures to alleviate them.  Our politicians have to mature yet.  Now the second reason for writing this note: love.  It is rather brotherhood or love between the brothers.  Kerala minister Mr. M.A. Baby came to Chennai recently for participating in an Onam celebration of Chennai Malayalees.  He asked the Malayali community here and to the people of TN to uphold the long standing brotherhood between them.  And it was in the recent past that Karunanidhi declared Onam a holiday immediately (just in three days, the Hindu newspaper says) at the request of the Chennai Malayali community.  There is an obvious long standing relationship between the states.  But the recent disputes (besides the Mullaperyar, we have the Southern railway division issue also) are quite disturbing.  When one looks into the comments by Malayalis and Tamils in websites and groups discussing these disputes, there is a split.  Well, I don't want to mention those comments here, which will only malign my blog.  On the other hand, the objective is to forget them and reaffirm the age-old ties. It is only through  amicable, diplomatic and democratic proceedings that we can sort out this (seemingly simple) issue; this needs a lot of discipline from both parties.  I hope this will happen soon and my country (India, not just Kerala) will be safe and out of any internal splits.

This is my personal view, which is obviously not very educated, for I am not an expert in all these; I am just an engineer(ing student).  I have not given a precise list of references I have used to write this article; by and large, it is the Hindu newspaper's online contents and some other chhotta-motta websites.  The article about the Mullaperiyar dispute in wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mullaperiyar_Dam) has been a good read; the references therein are also very helpful.  For a comprehensive history of the dispute, which I did not mention in the article, see R. Krishnakumar's article in Frontline at http://www.hinduonnet.com/fline/fl1724/17240420.htm.

If someone find out any kind of bias or prejudice in the above article, please convey the same to me.  I hope there is none.  I don't look at Kerala and Tamil Nadu differently, and so not at Tamils and Malayalis.  I love both.  If Malayalam is my great mother, Tamil is my great grandmother.  And  greater is my beloved nation: India.

--Sandeep Palakkal.

In the woods, with mysteries

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

--Robert Frost, Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening, 1923.

Thanks Frost for your really enchanting poem "stopping by woods on a snowy evening".  I still remember myself, as a boy, reading it, reciting it, and learning it by heart during my school days!

Hindsight: Taking a different perspective now, I understand that I have no promises to keep and no miles to go before I sleep.  I am man of no objectives; there is nothing to do, nothing to achieve... .  I too am astonished by the beauty and mysteries surrounding me.  Like a child under some magical influence, I have forgotten myself; I have forgotten the past and the future; I have forgotten where I am; and I no longer have a sense of anything else but this soothing existence.  I am feeling quite calm and serene  now.   Dear Frost, please forget me, I am not subscribed to your view. Let me stay here forever, just enjoying the lovely, dark and deep mysteries... .

Let me just believe that I am going to live forever...
My dear friend, what else is a better belief,
And what else is a better relief,
In this ephemeral existence full of grief?

--Sandeep Palakkal, 2009.

Scientific Quests

Let me keep myself open to every scientific thoughts from every directions.
Let me keep my mind ready to learn from anyone, anywhere, at any time.
To be objective in thoughts, to be inspired by mysteries,
To learn more and more, to imagine more and more,
Let me gather all of my energy...

--Sandeep Palakkal

55th National Film Awards, India: Malayalam sweeps!

I had just written about Keralam and Malayalam movies positively and negatively. And now, Malayalam sweeps 55th National awards:

1.  7th National Award for Adoor Gopalakrishnan (Best director for "Nalu Pennungal").
2. Editing: B.Ajith ("Nalu Pennungal").
3. 3rd one for Shyamaprasad (Best regional film for "Ore Kadal").
4. Best music director: Ouseppachan ("Ore Kadal").
5. Best make-up: Pattanam Rasheed ("Paradesi").
6. Best non-fiction award goes to Jayaraj's "Vellappokkathil" (Malayalam).
7. Best cinema book award to M.F. Thomas (Malayalam).
8. Best film critic: V.K. Thomas (Malayalam).

Besides, prominent personalities in Malayalam movies bagged awards for their works in other languages also:

1. South Indian actor Prakash Raj bags the Best Actor award through Priyadarshan's Tamil movie "Kanchivaram".
2. Best feature film "Kanchivaram".
3. Best art direction for Sabu Cyril ("Om Shanti Om" -Hindi)

Is this to disprove my negative comments? Any way, Malayalis can be proud once again and celebrate!

Me, around me and my perspectives

An article from my website. How is it?

Me, around me and my perspectives:

The Agenda

Recently, after having gone through a number of personal and academic websites and blogs, and maintained my own blog for some time, I have started thinking about the ideology of blogs and personal websites. The major question is why a person should have a personal website or maintain a personal (not travel, professional, or so) blog? Well, I have not reached a conclusion yet though developed some hypotheses which I reserve for the time being. Having thought all these, when I launch a personal webpage, I must have some specific intentions in mind: this webpage is just to introduce who I am, what I think about my life, times and surroundings, and, in general, what my perspectives are; this page is not to boast about my character, intelligence, achievements, professional and personal skills, my education, my fortunate childhood, social status or travels I have made. They are out of my agenda because I frown upon those aspects of a person, whoever it be, as banal. While explaining my perspectives I surely do not intend to hurt anyone's feelings. If someone finds something objectionable in this page, it is completely unintended, and please be kind enough to point out it to me. Needless to say, all views expressed in this page are mine, and they have nothing to do with the institute--Indian Institute of Technology Madras--that hosts this webpage. Let me also make it clear that the above stated agenda pertains, however, only to this very page, and not to my blogs or any other pages under my website.

Having stated the agenda, I anticipate some questions: why should I write about my perspectives? who cares about them? what is so special about me for someone to understand my perspective? or rather, why me? Well, I am a nobody, or everybody. I don't expect anyone to care either. Still, I express myself because I believe that "I express therefore I am", "in expressing myself, I express man" and "every truth is a perspective truth" (thanks to those three great thinkers for providing me with settings to say these).

My Motherland

I hail from Kozhikode, a district in Kerala state, India. My mothertongue is Malayalam, which is the language spoken throughout Kerala. Kerala lies in the most southern end of India. Kerala is known for its distinct culture, art forms like Kathakali, Mohiniyattam, etc., its own form of martial arts Kalarippayattu, left-leaning politics, a variety of cuisines, back water tourism, etc.. I am very much emotionally attached with most of them. Our literature and films are also very much acclaimed internationally. My favourite writers in my language include Vaikom Muhammed Basheer, O.V. Vijayan, N.S. Madhavan, M.T. Vasudevan Nair, M. Mukundan and Madhavikkutty (Kamala Surayya). We are fortunate to have the great singer ("gana-gandharvan") Yesudas, who has been enchanting every Malayali (Malayalam speaking person, or Keralite) almost for the last four decades with his magnificent voice par excellence; I am a fan of his. Among my people, there is an age old debate as to whether Mammootty or Mohanlal is the best actor (I don't care about it--afterall, how can one compare rose with lily?) Both are internationally acclaimed actors and Padma Shri recipients. Mammootty, a very disciplined and meticulous actor, is better known internationally for his portrayal of Dr. B.R. Ambedkar in Jabar Pattel's movie Dr. Baba Saheb Ambedkar (English/Hindi) besides his other sterling performances in Malayalam films like Oru Vadakkan Veeragatha, Vidheyan, Bhoothakkannadi, Danny, Mathilukal, Mrigaya, etc.. On the other hand, Mohanlal, so natural, vibrant and instinctual an actor, is well known for his breathtaking performances in a large number of movies including Vanaprastham, Bharatham, Kireedam, Manichithrathazhu (all Malayalam), Compnay (Hindi) and Iruvar (Tamil). In Indian movies, I can think only of a few other actors--in this, I admit that I am a bit biased--who are comparable with them (despite the fact that we have a number of stars); Kamal Hassan, Nassruddin Shah, Nana Patekar, Thilakan, Murali are few of them. Murali also has showcased a number of excellent performances in movies like Venkalam, Neythukaran (National Award for Best Actor), etc.. Coming to our actresses, my all time favourite is Shobhana, who is also a classical dancer. Her performance in Manichithrathazhu grabbed her the National Award for Best Actress in 1994. Speaking about our directors, we have Adoor Gopalakrishnan, T.V. Chandran, Bharathan, Padmarajan, Late Lohitadas, Priyanandanan, to name a few. These are all my favourites.

In India, my beloved Nation, peoples with diverse cultures coexists; interestingly, there are more than hunderd spoken languages in the country. In my view, India is not a country or land--it is a feeling, a feeling of oneness and a great culture! It is my wish to travel and mingle with other cultures in my country. But, I have only been to two of my neighbourhood states: Karnataka, where the language is Kannada, and Tamil Nadu, where the language is Tamil. Malayalam, Kannada and Tamil along with Telugu and a few other languages fall in the Dravidian language category. Hence, if one knows one of them well, then he or she can easily get hold of the others languages, of course, with some effort. Malayalam and Tamil are very close, Malayalam is considered to be the daughter of Tamil and Sanskrit. Tamil is the oldest Dravidian language, and Malayalam the youngest. I have found that Kannada is also very much related to Malayalam. I am able to understand Kannada to an extend, and Tamil better. However, Telugu appears to be slightly different. Other major languages spoken in India are Hindi, Marathi, Gujarathi, Oriya, Assamese, Punjabi, Urudu, Bengali and so on. Though I talked about oneness above, sadly, I also understand that there are internal conflicts between the peoples in the country. Despite this, history shows that we have always been able to move ahead together as one people.

My Interests and Perspectives

My most favourite activity is reading. I read novels and general books. I am always bewitched by diverse ideas and imagination. I don't have a good opinion about my taste in Science, Engineering and Mathematics. I like literature more, not to mention politics and culture. My most favourite novels are Sartre's Nausea, Kundera's Joke and Eco's The Name of the Rose. I can say that my life is divided into two periods: before reading Nausea and after reading Nausea! That novel influenced me tremendously; I was very much carried away by existentialism. Reading The name of the rose was very much enjoyable. I started reading it many times and stopped because I found it very difficult. On a train journey, while I had nothing else to do, or rather I could not do anything else, I forced myself to read the novel. To my surprise, the difficulty was only through the first ten or twenty pages. Then,... the actual story begins! I was unable stop now; it was painful when the co-travellers wanted to switch of the lights in the night! I would read the novel without stopping in the coming days, and this is the longest novel I read while in the shortest duration.

Another influential book in my life was Nietzsche's Beyond Good and Evil, which helped me understand myself and, moreover, affirm myself. His Thus Spoke Zarasutra is a book which can always be found on my table. By nature, I am a skeptic and, hence, a non-believer (I have no problem in accepting believers, but some of them have problems in accepting me: they always wants to argue--that they are right!). As Einstein wrote, one who has no faith is not fit for life. Hence, a non-believer is faced with a void, a big void. It is Nietzsche who helped my to fill this void by telling me that "art is the only justification for life" --Nietzsche, Friedrich in Beyond Good and Evil. I at once understood the true importance of arts, and gave up all speculations regarding the meaning of life. To this end, Terry Eagleton's Meaning of Life was also quite influential. As time went by and I read more and more, I derived a philosophy, or rather a personal outlook of life: "when you live, just live, that's all". With this, I reject the concepts of self-awareness, mindfulness, know-thyself-philosophy, positive thinking, etc.. I believe that these are just to confuse a man and destroy his individuality and capacity to think independently. As Zen Buddhism asserts, self-awareness comes by nature. One just has to live his life, without unnecessary interpretations, expectations, prejudice and concepts. Face it as it is! Encounter every experience unconditionally, this develops insight. This is the way to mind: the highest form of all forms. Buddha, who taught mankind a philosophy that considered the problems exclusively conerned with life on earth without referring to an almighty, is my hero, of course, not spiritually, but politically and personally! The immediate question will be: "is Marx my hero?" Well! I don't know. Notwithstanding that I have sided with the left perspectives in politics quite often than not, my knowledge of Marxism is very poor. Rather, Marxism is too big a concept for me yet. Therefore, I evade the current question without answering for now.

There are no other passions or hobbies for me as strong as reading, discussed earlier. One of my dreams is to write. But, I don't know what! Stories? Novels? Poetry? I don't know. Believe me, I have not tried anything yet. Music and films are my interests, especially, semi-classical music and art-house movies. Music has no language, yet I love Malayalam film music more! I have attended a few film festivals, including the 12th and 13th International Film Festivals of Kerala (IFFK). Presently, I don't venture into writing about my favourite movies though I would really love doing it. It requires more time, energy and effort since they are many movies I have to talk about.

Coming to the matters regarding my profession, I have only to talk about Signal Processing because it is the only engineering subject of my interest. It is the one subject which attracted me back to engineering, and the reason that I still pursue my studies and wish to pursue a career that will contribute to that subject. My enthusiasm towards this subject was developed initially because of a single motivation: to understand the Fourier transforms--what it is; why it gives frequency domain interpretation, and not something else; and how it works. If I speak about how I understood it and share what I understood, I'm afraid I would violate the agenda of this page I explained in the beginning. Better I would talk about it in a technical note. However, for completeness, I must say this: the proper way to understand it is through Linear Algebra. Believe me, once you start learning Linear Algebra, then there is no coming back. This subject is utterly seductive. For me, this is my "Name of the Rose" in Mathematics. I was introduced to this subject by a great teacher Prof. Ashok Rao who was formerly with the Indian Institute of Science, Bangalore and currently working elsewhere. Yet another mathematical discipline you will need to do more signal processing is Probability, Random Processes and Statistics. In fact, there are other topics also like Algebra, Algebraic Geometry, Number Theory, etc., but, most of the applications demands only Linear Algebra and Statistics. Once you start understanding these subjects, especially from a Signal Processing perspective (please don't scold me for my perspective that constrains these important and vast mathematical disciplines to Signal Processing alone; it is the matter of my "bread and butter"), then there is no sopt! Today, it is constantly heard that "Signal Processing has saturated" or even "dead". But, you can verify that they (the ignorants) had been saying this for the last three decades. It will never die because it is so ubiquitous a tool that many a time one will be unaware that one is using it; one may be thinking that one is working in Wireless Communication, Soft Computing, Pattern Recognition or Data Analysis, but you can see Signal Processing all over there, possibly hidden! Of course, this does not mean that everything is Signal Processing, but everything uses Signal Processing every now and then.

Conclusion

Is there a need to conclude? After all, what to conclude?

--Sandeep Palakkal.
Sunday, Sep. 6, 2009,
IIT Madras, Chennai.

On Keralam: My View as an Outsider

Till I left Kerala, my beloved motherland, for my postgraduate studies in 2005, I thought that it was the most wonderful land on earth, and that Malayalis constitute the most wonderful community on earth; what an immature thought it was! Of course, everyone has the same or similar feelings about his own birthplace. But, this proves to be wrong when you start observe other communities and cultures objectively. Every community has its own strengths and weaknesses. I'm aware of the general weaknesses of Mayalalis. However, the object of this note is not to elaborate them, but, on the contrary, to elaborate its most important strength, the negative effects of it, and what I feel about the contemporary life in Kerala. I must hastily add that I've no intentions to be exhaustive, or sound like an expert. I just scribble down some of my personal observations, that's all. And, since I'm still living outside, and do not continuously follow every news coming from there, my views are that of an outsider.

The strength of Malayalis: The foremost strength of Malayalis is their general awareness: political, social, cultural, national and international. I am sure that people of no other state can claim this. It comes because of education: Kerala theoretically has 100% literacy rate; truly this must be 99%. Almost all malayalis read newspapers everyday. They are aware of every political issues in Kerala, India and outside. You can hear people talking about "globalization", "free markets" etc. even in small tea shops; this is a clear mark of distinction of Malayalis from any other people in India. In other states, in my experiences and interactions, even the well educated does not know that he is living in a particular economy called capitalism, let alone about globalization!

But..., this is a big but, everything has its negative effects also. Since Malayalis have better general awareness, they are too lazy too. They don't want to produce the necessary things in their own land; they want Telugus to provide them brown-rice (without brown-rice, Malayalis can't live!), and Kannadigas and Tamilans to provide vegetables and fruits. Even a number of spices like red chillies are imported from the neighbourhood states. Onam is Malayalis' most prestigious festival; they decorate homes with flowers on this special day. They want flowers to be imported from Tamil Nadu. Even though water is abundant in the state Malayalis need to buy electricity from the central government and Tamil Nadu. This shows the lack of efficiency of governance and efforts from the Malayali community as a whole to improve living conditions in the state!

My View on Contemporary Life in Kerala:

Work/Business: Agriculture was strong at a time in Kerala. But, as time went by, they got more and more educated, became aware about the system, and learned how to earn more with less effort. Then they gave up agriculture, and started concentrating on consumer based business and services. This is the reason why they have to wait for the Andhra truck to come to eat their favourite brown-rice, or for Tamil truck for vegetables. This is a negative effect of social awareness. And, the technically educated youth relies only upon the IT industry. Now, they want such industries in the state also; they blame the political parties for lack of enthusiasm. Where is the enthusiasm of the people to produce something of their own, at least food?

Politics (the left-wing): The left movements have always influenced political events in Kerala. Even the right-wing Congress party is left in Kerala. Until recently, the competitions between these two major political forces had contributed to the state tremendously, but sadly, no more! Now, left seems to have become more right! And, they seem to offer no more competition! These are my observation as an outsider, hence open to challenge by any one. The recent tussle between the two "groups" inside the Communist Party of India (Marxist) has caused to lose peoples confidence in that party, and the left-wing in general. I don't know where it is going, whether they can overcome this situation and regain the faith of the people. I'm worried about the left-wing because of its influence on me; I always side with the left-wing, if not a left party!

Political Activism: Kerala has always witnessed various political struggles. In the past media as well as the political parties took interest to educate people regarding various issues. Malayalis were at least considered to be highly reactive. Now also they are active: active to get more and more comforts, to drink more and more alcoholic products, to celebrate every banal occasions, but not for improving the situation they are in. If you go to Kozhikode (my own place) most of the roads are in a bad shape. While Malayalis are worried about lack of shopping centers and IT parks, they do nothing to improve the roads, for example. They believe everything will be done by the government. Who is the government? You! the people. There are no strikes to improve the roads, education, etc.

Media (News): Another problem I am concerned about is regarding the media. The media in the state had been very proactive in the recent past, but, again, no more! The mainstream, and most serious Malayalam news paper is "Mathrubhumi". Nowadays, this news paper is only interested in the so called back-door affairs of politics in the state. Whether the news they give is correct or not is another issue. But, why should they be so much concerned with all these junk? It no longer covers most of the national and international issues, why? The visual media is too ugly to talk about! They produce news every single minute and broadcast. People are bombarded with so many unnecessary information every minute so intensively that they are unable to distinguish between what is news and what is not. Most important issues are clumsily dealt with, and most banal are exaggerated. They start by addressing important issues, turn them into gossips and speculation, make them just meaningless debates between the political parties, and, finally, reduce them into nothing---this is called reduction ad absurdum. Every news becomes an absurdity and create, eventually, no effect!

Media (entertainment): Again, regarding audio/visual media: they are sneaking into our life spaces more and more. Most of us are interested in movies and songs. But, why should we always think about them? Well, this is what our media needs presently. In FM radios, in reality and other kind of TV shows, the topic is movies and songs! Your favourite (is it?) VJ or DJ or whoever talks at length about the movies in the past, the new movies released recently, or the future movie projects and educate you the whole day. For them every movie is lovely, beautifully taken, well directed, contains sterling performances! Of course, if you watch those movies you would start crying thinking that you could have better spend that money in a hotel, at least your appetite could have been satisfied. And, we have songs---the movie songs. Why should we listen to them, however lovely they are, for twenty four hours a day? Or, why should we listen to our favourite music 500 times a day? This repetition kills your time and ability to savour it in the back of your mind: it kills your creativity and imagination. Summarizing, entertainments and the need for them take over your time and life, work has become less important, only a means to gather money to spend for entertainments!

Movies: The contemporary movies competes to imitate those movies from the other prominent industries of South India like Tamil and Telugu as well as the Bollywood. I am not talking about plagiarism. That's OK as long as you adapt the story to the Kerala setting; and other languages have copied Malayalam movies many more times than the other way around! I am talking about the imitation of style of direction, technology, action, songs, and visual effects. Why do the contemporary directors want to make the Malayalam movies look and feel like a Tamil/Telugu/Hindi movies? One will imitate the other only if one has no innate character. The Malayalam film industry has proved in the past that it has its own character and originality. Since the beginning they had good movies which were remarkably distinct from other states. Where is the talent going? They say they have to satisfy the audience. This is the direct insult of the audience; they mean that the taste of the audience is mediocre or becoming mediocre. Take good, original movies; the taste will follow! Modern vs old movies: I don't believe that the past was glorious and the present is bad. Rather it is evolutionary. Present life is much better than the past in many ways. However, most of the present movies lack originality and quality compared to some of the the past ones at least in case of Malayalam movies; that is, number of good movies is larger in the past compared to the present. Recently, in an interview, the great actor Mammootty said, he enjoys everything contemporary and new rather than old. At least in case of movies and their quality, I have to disagree with him despite my great admiration to the actor. And, I believe that this temptation to imitate is also a part of the "globalisation"; rather, this is a "local globalisation"!

A remark I must add here is this: recently I read a Malayalam movie critic saying that Tamil movies are becoming better and better compared to Malayalam movies, and Malayalam film makers should learn from Tamil. He cited "Subramaniapuram": this is a proof that we are lacking talented film critics also. Subramaniapuram was a good film compared to many other Tamil movies, but compare it with "Amaram", "Venkalam", "Bharatham" or "Oru Vadakkan Veeraghatha", or at least with "Palunku", "Kazhcha" or "Bhramaram". I believe, in terms of artistic quality, Tamil movies are yet to become comparable with Malayalam movies despite the fact that Malayalam movies are degrading. Tamil movies are ahead Malayalam movies in terms of technical perfection and variety. Malayalis can argue that the audience and market is smaller compared to Tamil, and, hence, budget is smaller, which forces the film makers to rely less on technical perfection.

Law and order: Last week the high-court of Kerala observed that the goons and gangs have become so powerful in the state and criticized the government and the police for lack of effective action. One does not have to know the high-court's observation to understand this; just look into the recent news. Every day, a case of hacking by goons, or the so called "quotation" is coming out of the state, particularly, from the south. The north was infamous for this, and those were, by and large, part of political fights, between the party members, although they used goons for this. However, the recent cases are quite disturbing. They are aimed at common people. Of course, many a time, these "common people" have some political affiliations, too. But, the recent cases include assigning goons and gangs for inflicting violence and vengeance. One peculiar case was a mother settled in Australia, arranging goons to kidnap her daughter who got married without the mother's consent! There are similar cases; just read the news paper. The most prominent case, which the media has focused on, and which they seem to reduce to absurdity is the recent case of the murder of Paul Muthoot. The police, according to the media reports, has some nexus with the goons as some politicians have. This will also reduce the credibility of the police force in the state. Again, there are no strikes to improve these situations; there are some political show-offs every day, that's all!

Conclusion: I just pointed out what I observe about my state in the recent past. And, I have been critical and negative in doing so; I am also responsible for what Kerala is now. Maybe, my short summary would be like this: Malayalis are facing a lot of challenges from within and outside, from social degradation to destructive influence of the entertainment media on the individual; by this I mean destruction of individuality and creativity, not of morality---that is a different matter, which I am too immature to deal with. My suggestion for a solution to Malayalis will be to stand up to these challenges boldly, criticize ourselves affirmatively, and make changes, rather than idly sitting watching the TV the whole day, or reading some junk "arogya masika" (health magazine), which only make you a moron. It may seem impossible, but it is possible.

These are my views, and my views only about Kerala. This is not a comparative study because I don't know much about the situations in the other states; maybe they are even worse, or maybe they are better!

Sandeep Palakkal

On limits of life

Many a time, when I reread what I've written in the past, I feel that I was an idiot then. One of my friends had confessed to me that he also used to feel the same. This time, I feel that it was so foolish of me to have connected my limitations with my academic life in the previous blog! There I have been wondering if I was encountering a lot of my limitations because I was doing PhD. However, later, I was reminded that life itself is limited. It does not matter what life---within academic circles or not---you are living, you can't live forever. Life is limited! What a simple idea! Any school boy knows that. But I did not take this into consideration while I was thinking about life's limitations in general. Many of my hypotheses had been wrong. Finally, this one wins: everything in the world is limited, and has limitations! Limits are real.

Imperfection of Life?

Ten years ago, when I was in my teen age, life seemed full of hopes, full of possibilities. That was a time with a lot of immature impulses and dreams most of which were almost impossible. It was so until a year back. But now, I am confronted only by limitations: my own limitations!. Maybe, one can justify saying that it is because I'm doing Ph.D. You search for something; it is like searching for a shadow in the dark! And, you can't be sure of what you are doing, whether your search is going in the right direction, whether it is worth doing it, or whether you would be able get somewhere. There are moments of helplessness, but there are moments of extreme exaltations too! But moments of despair are more. They are enervating for some time though will fuel further actions later. One thing I'm not sure about is that whether my feeling of helplessness, or experience of limitations, is a part of PhD or a part of life itself. Since I did not have a life outside academic circles, outside the campus, I can't answer; someone else should tell me. Or, is it the imperfection of life that a lot of people, both wise and unwise alike, talked of?

I strongly feel and in fact, my experiences in life at different times indicate that a problem intellectually understood and emotionally came in terms with is no longer a problem at all. Perhaps, this explains my uncontrollable urge to search for a better explanation, a better understanding of life and myself (though my motto is "when you live, you just live"---maybe, I must explain what I mean by this in another blog). I pondered about my limitations also for quite some time. I constructed a lot of hypotheses. Yet I'm not sure of them and I am unable to accept them---what they are is pointless. So, I don't conclude, and the questions go on. It is not that I intentionally ask these absurd, rather fancy questions; I can't help asking, I have no control over this process.

Since I have no conclusions, I just experience my limitations, without trying to construe them in any way. At the moment, I guess, this is the best I can do. Or maybe, I must console myself saying that "it's your life, whether you like or not".

Don't watch this movie: "Abre los ojos" A.K.A "Open your eyes"

'Abre los ojos' (Open your eyes) is a Spanish movie directed by Alejandro Amenábar in 1997. I watched it recently and got depressed for a few days. The "hangover" is not yet over. It was deeply felt by my innermost senses. So, my advice to you is this: watch the movie only if you are sure that you are a strong willed person (unlike I am). Of course, this is my subjective view. You can take it, or not!

The movie is Spanish and i had to use subtitles. It is about dreaming and its influence in us. But, the dream continues even after the person (hero) is dead. What is real and what is dream is unknown in the middle of the movie. However, to my consolation, the director demystified everything in the end; otherwise, I would have gone mad (what? madder? Oh, no!).

I am a person who loves movies and novels very much, and some of the stories have a capacity to catch my full attention, and, then, I feel the hero and me are the same. I feel everything that the hero (or any character) feels; I am equally disturbed; and I want to solve the problem (whatever). Abre los ojos was surely such a movie. It talks about love, deception, jealousy, rejection, loneliness, and so on; but the exception is the element of dreaming, and like I said above, of death and the continuation of dreams. Though it can be considered as a science fiction because it entails cryonics, I feel there is more in it. Especially, rejection was deeply felt.

I don't want to say more about the story here; just that I was depressed, and my strength of will to live was at stake for some time :-). But I hope others are stronger than I am and would enjoy watching this movie. I did not enjoy watching this movie but I enjoy having watched it!

(An Incomplete Musing) On Research

Passion to learn,
Patience to think,

Shamelessness to ask,
Willingness to answer,

Eagerness to know,
Determination to pursue,

Strength to withstand,
Willpower to overcome,

Depth to demonstrate,
Broadness to offer,

Lucidity to explain,
Brilliance to breakthrough,

Command to lead,
Diplomacy to get along,

Thus my friend, this method
Needs a thousand of skills.


Sandeep Palakkal.

Understanding Life

Yeah! Now I understand what life is:

"Life is a tomato!"

Being a Detective!

Again, remembering "The name of the Rose", I ask myself what it means being a detective? It is just being confused of various details available regarding the problem that one is investigating, making a number of hypotheses from them without knowing which is stupid and which is reasonable, eagerly looking for updated information to substantiate or reject at least one of ones hypotheses and to make new hypotheses... This will go on until one cracks the problem. But, if one finally understands that one had been looking for a non-existent mouse in darkness, what will happen to the detective? Will he be just embarrassed of the stupid hypotheses he had made? Will he stop doing detective works anymore? Or, will he go mad?

Whatever it be, I understand that the motive of every detective is to know the truth. It is an inexplicable and, quite often, unjustifiable curiosity to know the truth that makes every detective working... In that process, he himself is madly obsessed with the questions.

Wisdom of a Devil

"Why most of the popular philosophers are shallow?"

"Because shallow philosophers are most popular".

"Then, why shallow philosophers are most popular?"

"Because the populace understands only shallow philosophers".

A Dilemma of the Strong

I am finding a lot of people in "bad mood". They will behave rudely or without any manners and will later say that they were in bad moods. I wonder if all human beings have this problem. I never had it. I had been gloomy, angry or in some kind of bad moods. But it never made me behave in a "bad" way. I can't look at anyone whom I know well without a smile whatever mood I may be in at the moment. Even if I am angry with that person, I will behave like a human.

So, What kind of phenomenon is this "in bad moods"?

Is this an escape from ones self? You act without any control, and then blame your bad mood - this will make you to take no responsibility for your action. So, you are comfortable. And, other "good" people "will understand" you. So no more conflicts.

By this, I infer that this is the habit of the weak-willed people. They have no control over themselves, no determination and are contemptible. Or at least, they feel that they are contemptible. I must feel pity towards them, in fact.

However, it is very difficult to live among these weak people. Only my strength of will helps me to do so....

On Speech

Some talk, some chat,
But, most make noise!

A Long Wait for You... (A Poem)

"Books... books... books... windows to the world,
Dreams... dreams... dreams... windows to the mind,
Friends... friends... friends... windows to heaven.

Many things life taught me...
How many things more!
It's already saturating, and boring...

I am waiting for you to come...
In this silent solitude...
To share my knowledge, my joy!
Thus to unburden my wisdom...

I am waiting for you to come...
In this dark corner of the world...
To help me to fill up my space with light!
And to feel the completeness of living..."

Sandeep Palakkal

An Impression

Life is so vivid an experience which I can't express with words. It paints a lot of impressions in my mind. After a good sleep, today morning something was revealed to my mind. I have no words to express it. I better express it in someone else's words...

"He walks among men like man walks among animals."

--Thus Spoke Zaratustra, Friedrich Nietzsche.

Man With a Big Mouth And a Tiny Brain

Today I saw a man with a big mouth and a tiny brain.
He talked a lot.
I listened since I had a lot of time to waste!
And, all he talked was devoid of insights.

The First Step

"A journey of a thousand miles
must begin with a single step"

--Lao Tsu, Tao Te Ching

When will I make the first step?...

Moral Conflicts

Desire and Love are always in conflict with Morality. The result is Violence. Many a time one is suspicious of how distinct desire and love are. Should true love lack desire? Or, is it motivated by desire? Whatever it be, they form a force, the vital force which moves ones life. It motivates one to act. But this is not smooth. One is constrained by numerous moral rules and obligations. The causes stress, repression, deception, and may be, frustration. This is the point where the common man needs philosophy. They call it by this name without knowing what philosophy is. What they really want is a set of socially accepted rules using which they can justify their pursuit of desire without being called immoral. Of course, the first choice is religion which gives one widely accepted moral notions. There are different religions in the world is a matter of concern because it may cause conflicts between communities (we know that this is the case!). However, religion, since it is accepted by a wide majority, gives one a set of rules to follow without much conflict. But none actually follow them, or does not want to follow them. The main aim is to satisfy ones desires. And, as time goes by man feels that the religious rules, or the widely accepted moral notions are too restrictive and try protest in many ways. They try to invent new rules.

One thing to add is that once a set of rules are accepted, then there arises institutions or authorities who assumes it is their right to protect and impose these rules. Since they are also human beings, and their real motive is not the rules, such institutions degrade. It becomes more restrictive, authoritative and tries to dictate men so that invention of new values and rules are suppressed. Then man starts to rebel. This causes conflict. This conflict is for a good cause: to invent new values!