The Abstract.

Do I appear as a mere emptiness to you?
Let me tell you then:
I am an empty essence;
A pure consciousness.
As I push myself to the limits
Of my possibilities,
The limits appear to move towards the horizons.
My limits and the horizon -- grand illusions!
I don't exist! My consciousness is finite.
While the emptiness is an impossible knowledge!

-Sandeep, Chennai, August 14, 2014.

Related: http://palakkalsandeep.blogspot.in/2014/08/blog-post.html

"April Goes Away"

"April goes away."
Pain of departure,
Pain of losing,
Deep within my heart.
My heart doesn't let go.
It's like that.
Weak and dreamy,
For it sees only the form,
Not the content.

My head sees the content.
What was the content?
"Nothing," it says.
There was no April to depart!
Therefore, no loss and no pain.
April was a form I created,
A framework, a window
To look at a content
That was not there:
My life in April!

Form conceals the content,
Or non-content.

--sandeep, april 30, 2014, chennai.

Survival During the Non-Apocalyptic Era

Genre: Fiction

The sun during the day,

The moon during the night,

The joy of waiting

When they were not there,

Were my primary reasons

For not embracing suicide,

The last resort to escape

The infinite possibilities

For metamorphosis
And transcendence,

During the Non-Apocalyptic times.

#sandeeppalakkal-chennai-thethirdofdecembertheyearoftwothousandthirteen.

A Portrait of the Artist in the Eve of Apocalypse

Genre: Fiction

The Hope:

I would've been happy,
As long as my sky did not crack;
As long as the peace of my meditation was undisturbed;
As long as the animals around me did not quarrel each other.

The Orgy of the Intellect:

All I needed was an ideology
That would keep my sky from cracking;
That would keep the peace of my meditation undisturbed;
That would keep the animals around me at peace.

The Disillusionment:

But, today, I became aware
That my sky was indeed going to crack;
That my meditation itself will go futile;
That the animals around me will cease to exist.

The Departure:

In the evening, I looked at the departing sun
Until the twilight faded away in the horizon.
Adios my dear old friend,
My reason for deferring a suicide on many mornings!

The Apocalyptic Strength of Will:

The last sun departed, the last night freezing in,
I am witnessing the final moments, my moments of the truth.
These final moments for me are not for engaging in fornication.
Neither are they for felony nor rape nor self-indulgence.

The Last Resort:

These moments, my final moments,
Are the only private things I ever own.
I imagine a colourful sky that will never come to be,
Yet, bring meaning in eternity to my vanishing soul.

The New Hope:

With the ever depleting strength of mine,
Let me embrace you, dear death.
How beautiful you are! To arrive tonight,
This night of the apocalypse.
I will drink from your everlasting fountain of bliss
Forever to quench my everlasting thirst.

The Release:

I feel very light, for I can sleep tonight
Without the burden of a morrow.
No more anticipations, no more hopes,
No more sunrises to shine in my life.

The Meaning aka Nirvana:

My mind is quiet,
My heart secure.
My breath is deep,
I am One with the God.

I feel no pain,
I feel no shame,
I feel no guilt,
I am One with the God.

Lying on my bed,
Reduced into the null in the whole,
I am One with the God.
I am One with the God.

--sandeeppalakkal-chennai-decemberthesecondtheyeartwothousandthirteen.

Ode to My Fate! (Non-classic)

"My solitude doesn't depend on the presence or absence of people; on the contrary, I hate who steals my solitude without, in exchange, offering me true company."   --F. Nietzsche.

---------

I've a friend

Who's a cunt.

Words will blaze

Peace when you faze.

I'm in a rage

Not in your cage.

I'm no poet.

My heart, be quiet!

Silence of the night

Intense my plight.

Expect only hate

Affirm my fate!

Period....

Period....

Period....

Ceaseless this prod?

------------

--
Sandeep Palakkal
Chennai
Aug 7, 2013.

No Mothers

My dear ailing friend,
I know what you're seeking:
Unconditional love!
Alas! you'll not find it
In this world.
For, only mothers carry it
In their breasts.

There are no mothers here
Any more!
Fathers have killed'em all.
All the mothers.
Remaining are only
Wounded breasts...
And... torn up vaginas....

Out, Into the World

After days of seclusion,
Today I saw the bright, sunny world.
It looked ephemeral, with no purpose.
But, why the hell is it so beautiful?

-Sandeep
Nov 13, 2011

The World Outside Me -- A Poem

The world exists without me, outside me.
I have only an interpretation of the world.
My interpretation of the world:
My happiness! And my curse!

I am prey to my interpretations.
I can't stop them, nor can I be free of them.
I am defined by my interpretations.
And I depend on them.

My interpretations form my feelings.
They form my knowledge.
They guide my soul.
I have no life without them.

My interpretations are not independent of the world,
Though the world is independent and outside me.
The world will carry on without me,
Without caring for my interpretations.

Can I blame myself, or the world,
That I feel the world is too indifferent to me?
Perhaps this is the irony of life,
The worst of all human paradigms!

--Sandeep Palakkal
April 7, 2011.
On a train journey from Chennai to Calicut

Not a poet -- A Poem

To be a poet

Is to be a dreamer.

To be a dreamer

Is to fail in life.

I became a dreamer.

And I failed in life.

But, alas!

I became no poet.

But I died, I died.

To be no poet

Is to die.

Yes, I died. I died.

Chennai,

Sep 29, 2011.

Of the leader

Of the Leader
A Poem by
Sandeep Palakkal

I never sang about him, never wrote about him,
Despite my intense desire to do so.

He was so exceptional that there was enough
To write about him, enough to sing.

But I never did so,
For he was a leader of the masses.

An angry, intolerant mass,
Which frightened my poor, little heart.

Alas! Thus my fear of the masses took away
An oportunity for a poem.

-Sandeep Palakkal
Chennai

Fukushima 2011

Fukushima 2011

A poem by

Sandeep Palakkal

Man said:

We've discovered science, we've developed technology, 

We've invented medicine. Oh mighty we! We're invincible!

We've ruled the world, and now, we're creating our own worlds!

A world full of amusements, where we're all happy.

As I was watching him with great admiration,

An earthquake occurred,

Which nearly destroyed the world that Man had created.

And a tsunamy stripped him off of almost all his achievements.

Fukushima

Heartbroken, he awaited only for the nuclear explosion,

And, worst of all, the complete meltdown.

He'd science, he had technology, and he had medicine.

He'd created a new world, but

He'd forgotten the best of all his treasures.

He'd forgotten to sing!

He'd lost his poetry!

-Sandeep Palakkal

Chennai

The Creator -- A Poem

The Creator
--------------------

Does God exist,
The one who created the world?
I don't know! But I know:
India won the world cup cricket.
All the prophecies of media came true.
And the media create the world!

--Sandeep Palakkal
April 5, 2011.
Chennai.

A Poem -- My Writings

My Writings
--------------------

Thou thinketh:
I entered the family life
Hence banished from the normalcy of my life
And there would be no more of my writings.

But I say unto thee:
Normalcy had never existed in my life
And my writings yearn for infinity,
No matter the world does not exist!


--Sandeep Palakkal
April 5, 2011.
Chennai.

Lost Freedom

Mother, you created me free,
I was free to savour your milk,
And enjoy my life.
But I created a cage,
And imprisoned you there,
Hoping to gain greater joy,
And power.
I did not know that I was
Incarcerating myself.
Losing all my freedom,
Now I live in vain....

--Sandeep Palakkal,
Feb 12, 2010.

Inner Voice

This is between us, you and me.
I am communicating to you
Through this unsophisticated poem.
You know, poetry is my way
To understand me.
Me? Who is the me?
That is the doubt now....
Is this me a thought?
No, I've conflicting thoughts.
But me is peaceful.
Is this me a feeling?
No, I've conflicting feelings.
But me has integrity.
Is this me an ego?
No, my ego is a burden to me.
But me is soothing to me.
Is this me a body?
No, my body is sick.
But me is strong.
Is this me an action?
No, all my actions are empty.
But me is my only meaning.
Then who is this me?
Who knows? And who cares?
All I know is that
The night is cold;
It is late, silent, serene;
And my bed is warm, cosy;
And I am almost sleeping.
Or I no longer can say
If I am awake....

--Sandeep Palakkal.
Chennai, Jan 2010.

Song of a Mystic

When I said I have infinite fingers,
They felt I am crazy,
For, none can  have infinite fingers.

When I said I have infinite intelligence,
They assumed I am deluded,
For, none can be infinitely intelligent.

When I said I have infinite talent,
They replied I am arrogant,
For, none can be infinitely talented.

When I said I have infinite joy,
They said nothing,
For, they didn't understand me!

--Sandeep Palakkal,
Jan 2010.

Scientific Quests

Let me keep myself open to every scientific thoughts from every directions.
Let me keep my mind ready to learn from anyone, anywhere, at any time.
To be objective in thoughts, to be inspired by mysteries,
To learn more and more, to imagine more and more,
Let me gather all of my energy...

--Sandeep Palakkal

(An Incomplete Musing) On Research

Passion to learn,
Patience to think,

Shamelessness to ask,
Willingness to answer,

Eagerness to know,
Determination to pursue,

Strength to withstand,
Willpower to overcome,

Depth to demonstrate,
Broadness to offer,

Lucidity to explain,
Brilliance to breakthrough,

Command to lead,
Diplomacy to get along,

Thus my friend, this method
Needs a thousand of skills.


Sandeep Palakkal.

Wisdom of a Devil

"Why most of the popular philosophers are shallow?"

"Because shallow philosophers are most popular".

"Then, why shallow philosophers are most popular?"

"Because the populace understands only shallow philosophers".

On Speech

Some talk, some chat,
But, most make noise!