Showing posts with label Places and Travels. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Places and Travels. Show all posts

Wednesday, 1 July 2015

Evening At Kotturpuram Tree Park

I have lived in Bangalore a couple of years back. It was my lonely days. I loved Bangalore mainly for its small parks in some nooks and corners. After work, while I return to my room, I used to go to some park and spend some time there. People come there for evening walks. I go there with a book and read it. Those were some serene moments in my life. I remember reading Kafka, Sartre, etc. in parks in Bangalore. That was an exciting feeling. Exciting times too.

Chennai has less parks. But there are a few. There's one near my apartment in Kotturpuram: The Kotturpuram Tree park. The place was a waste yard a couple of years back and an organization, Nizhal, in collaboration with the Chennai Metro Corporation built this amazing park by planting trees and nurturing them systematically. Now it has a lot of trees and walkways for morning or evening walks. You can go and sit there and forget that you are in Chennai. The breeze coming from the nearby Adyar river cools down your body as soon as you enter the park.


I go there in the evenings for a walk or just to sit and look at the river to ponder upon the existential aspect of everyday life. There will be boats in the river rowed by people. Possibly they are from the Adyar boat club. Sometimes, I take some book with me to read. I'm reminded by those Bangalore days. Today, while I was reading, I took an occasional glance at the river. I felt that the top edge of the wall between me and the river was moving. Was it some kind of an optical illusion? I looked again. There you are! A snake slowly advancing along the net tied above the wall. My immediate reaction was, naturally, fear! Now I am not a child, but a grownup adult. I said to myself, calm down, it is just a snake and sits a few meters away from me. Instinctively, I looked around me, on the stone chair I was sitting and under it, to check whether there was a snake lurking around near me. Because I was so lost in my reading!




Saturday, 28 December 2013

Midnight Musings on Words, Labyrinths, and Sree Narayana


Not being understood is the most terrible curse in this world. Now I better understand those people like Kafka and Nietzsche. But, seemingly, there is no solution for that. If I ask myself how I can make others understand me, I recognize an even more terrible truth: That I don't myself understand myself! 

To tell others what I want to tell them about me, I need to depend on language. There, I realize that I cannot express myself quite well in words. Words deceive me. Really. When I listen to my own narration, I realize that the words flow on their own account. It is as if I have a very insignificant role in the process. When I think, write or say something, I sense that the flow of the words are automatic, beyond my own control, obeying some prescribed structure of the language. That may be why I am still unsatisfied even after I think I said what I wanted to say. 

I don’t trust words any more. They don't represent me. They don’t' represent my inner feelings and urges. They gravely misrepresent me. Perhaps, language itself is a prison!

I feel I am stuck in my own __________ . I don't know what is the word to be used here. Certainly it is not “life”, “body”, “paradigm” and so on. Nothing that I can think of. Still, I feel I am stuck. The fact is that I feel I am stuck. Perhaps, I feel that it is a fact that I feel that I am stuck. Or, even, it is a fact that I feel that it is a fact that I feel that I am stuck. I am exasperated! Language is a labyrinthine prison. Maybe, it is so for everyone, but not many realize it.

A few days back, I had been to Sivagiri. The most prominent proponents of Advaitic version of Hinduism were, I believe, Malayalis. Sri Sankara Acharya founded it. And Sree Narayana Guru was a major figure, as were Cattambi Swamikal, Nitya Chaitanya Yati, and so on. 

Sivagiri Mutt of Sree Narayana Guru is situated on a hill. It is where the Guru is said to be enlightened. Being an atheist, I could not feel anything “sacred” or “spiritual” about that place. I did not feel any “cosmic vibrations” all those goat-head ones claim they feel when they go to places like this. But, still, it is a beautiful and serene place. Very close to the nature, calm, quiet and silent! I saw the Guru's hut – a very simple one. Great figures like Rabindra Nath Tagore and Gandhi visited the Guru there. Later, I went to the tomb of the Guru on the hill. Enjoying the serenity of the place and wondering about the magnificent life of the Guru, I returned. He was not just a saint. He was an politically activist saint, who acted as a spiritual vanguard of a great struggle of a bygone generation of oppressed people against the upper caste of Kerala. 

Down the hill, in the book stall, I procured a copy of Guru's “Atmopatesa Satakam”. Written in a bit tougher Malayalam, but I don't like the interpretations and explanations added by someone for each stanza for some reason.

Those who still wonder how much money a man wants, when one would get satisfied in ones life and why life seems to be miserable even after becoming rich and healthy! I say unto them. Indeed life has no meaning. Life is absurd and worthless. But if you feel frustrated about it, then it is because  you have not invented you own meaning to it. It is because you chase a non-existent illusion all the time without realizing that you are merely wandering aimlessly in a labyrinthine prison. But don't feel guilty about it too. It is not your fault. Absolutely not your fault. In sharing you my thoughts, I love you like God loves humans:)

Tempted to conclude with a quote, thanks to the movie Dead Poet's Society:

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately,
to front only the essential facts of life,
and see if I could not learn what it had to teach,
and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived."
                                           --Henry Thoreau


Chennai,
Dec 27, 2013