Extreme alienation from the surroundings. Ultimate castration from desire itself. Loss of desire. Nothing else to hold on. Horror. Everything around becomes phobic to me. I wonder why I suffer this destiny! Is my life over? Extinction of desire marks the end of life. But I am alive and I don't want to die! Oh my nonexistent God, show me what's out there to hold on to. Show me my way!
Do you know what is my proof of being alive at the moment?
Hunger! Uncontrollable desire to eat heavily something delicious and thus to hold on to life and earth and nature.
The disgusting women living around me wonder if I am impotent, for I am showing no desire for them! Not even my gaze betrays any sign of lust! Strangely enough, the only desire that is thriving inside me is to kill them and eat their flesh. The meat from their curvy calves, fatty thighs, tender hands and bulging abdomens. Would that be delicious?
Hunger can make a man an animal and an animal a stronger animal. Desire for sex will make an animal weaker if it is a male and stronger if it is a female. Lust makes a woman a dynamite, but a man an idiot. A very stupid idiot! I am not an idiot. I am an animal, a hungry male animal.
No comments:
Post a Comment