A Portrait of the Artist in the Eve of Apocalypse

Genre: Fiction

The Hope:

I would've been happy,
As long as my sky did not crack;
As long as the peace of my meditation was undisturbed;
As long as the animals around me did not quarrel each other.

The Orgy of the Intellect:

All I needed was an ideology
That would keep my sky from cracking;
That would keep the peace of my meditation undisturbed;
That would keep the animals around me at peace.

The Disillusionment:

But, today, I became aware
That my sky was indeed going to crack;
That my meditation itself will go futile;
That the animals around me will cease to exist.

The Departure:

In the evening, I looked at the departing sun
Until the twilight faded away in the horizon.
Adios my dear old friend,
My reason for deferring a suicide on many mornings!

The Apocalyptic Strength of Will:

The last sun departed, the last night freezing in,
I am witnessing the final moments, my moments of the truth.
These final moments for me are not for engaging in fornication.
Neither are they for felony nor rape nor self-indulgence.

The Last Resort:

These moments, my final moments,
Are the only private things I ever own.
I imagine a colourful sky that will never come to be,
Yet, bring meaning in eternity to my vanishing soul.

The New Hope:

With the ever depleting strength of mine,
Let me embrace you, dear death.
How beautiful you are! To arrive tonight,
This night of the apocalypse.
I will drink from your everlasting fountain of bliss
Forever to quench my everlasting thirst.

The Release:

I feel very light, for I can sleep tonight
Without the burden of a morrow.
No more anticipations, no more hopes,
No more sunrises to shine in my life.

The Meaning aka Nirvana:

My mind is quiet,
My heart secure.
My breath is deep,
I am One with the God.

I feel no pain,
I feel no shame,
I feel no guilt,
I am One with the God.

Lying on my bed,
Reduced into the null in the whole,
I am One with the God.
I am One with the God.

--sandeeppalakkal-chennai-decemberthesecondtheyeartwothousandthirteen.