Paragon of stupidity...

Thus leaves me yet another month: October.  This month I have done a lot of blunders.  Very frequently I was caught up in awkward situations, and most of the time, my reactions were shamefully foolish.  This reminded me of the limitations of life, as I have written in a previous blog.  Maybe, I will argue that the knowledge of my limitations helped me to accept my foolishness, overcome it and stay calm.  It helped me not to loose my self-respect yet.  In the past, it was my arrogance and self-pride that helped me to stay calm in difficult situations.  But in situations where I look foolish, arrogance will not help; on the other hand, it may aggravate my shame.  This is where self-pity, not in the usual sense, but in the most profound sense, helps me stay calm.

Self-pity, for the weak man, is self-denouncement or self-negation, but for the strong, it is the knowledge of the "edges"--the boundaries, the limitations.  At the same time a strong man will also be aware of the opposite--the limitlessness of man.  Furthermore, only he / she who is aware of the edges knows how vast is the space contained by the edges.  This is very similar to my other favourite thoughts: "only he / she who is aware of the meaninglessness of life knows its meaning," or "only he / she who understands hate knows what is love."  Am I talking about the opposites here?  No, I am just saying there are no opposites--there are only duals.

Thinking about it, I am reminded of a few lines I read a few years back:

"What a piece of work is man! how noble in reason! how infinite in faculty! in form and moving how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals! --and yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me--nor woman neither, though by your smiling you seem to say so."

--William Shakespeare

After all, quoting a man with rich words is much better than writing it down in my poor ones.

--Sandeep Palakkal

"Enlightenment..."

Thor... placed the horn to his lips... . He drank with all his might and kept drinking as long as ever he was able; when he paused to look, he could see that the level had sunk a little, ... for the other end lay out in the ocean itself.

–-P.A. Munch, Norse Mythology
AMS Press, New York, 1970.

Have you ever thought of the amount of all human knowledge so far? Have you ever felt the urge to learn it all? How much can we learn? How much we already know? What is the percentage of all knowledge that we can get? For example we know (at least vaguely) that,

1. Everything around us is made of atoms.

2. There are some particles called electrons.

3. Opposite magnetic poles attract, and the like ones repel.

4. While inhaling atmospheric air, our lungs absorb oxygen.

5. Plant and trees are living beings.

6. Sun light, when passed through a prism, decomposes into seven colours.

7. Fourier transform of a signal represented in time gives its frequency components.

8. Music can be compressed to MP3 format so that the file size is reduced.

9. Every living being on earth has to die.

10. 1+1 = 2 and 1x1 = 1.

Can I ever complete this list? I wonder and wonder about the amount of knowledge we have.

Yet the beauty is this: it is more important to understand one thing rather than knowing it all. This is what my teacher told me today, "Sandeep, you may read a lot and know a lot. But it is when you re-derive your knowledge you really understand them. And enlightenment comes through understanding."

 A particular knowledge may be known to man for a long time. That does not mean that you have understood it. You understand is a different case. And when you understand it in your own way, you see the real beauty--this is the joy of learning.

--Sandeep Palakkal

True Friend

In Malayalam, we have a proverb:  "chengathi nannayal kannadi venda" (i.e., if your friend is good, then you don't need to look at the mirror).  I understand its meaning in more depth now.  However, it is an old proverb, and it is the modern times now.  Hence, I would like to add more to it.  For, there are different types of mirrors now.
A true friend
1. should act as a magnification lens (convex) for you to help see distances unknown to you; helps you to grow more, warns you about the pitfalls on your path and helps you guard yourself,
2. should act as a diminishing  lens (concave) for you against others' blames and scorns at you; insulates you from the pains of the world, by helping you not knowing what you don't need to, and
3. should act as a plain, clean and unbiased mirror so that you can look at it and know more of you, what you are, where you are, including your qualities as well as your limitations.
Besides, a friend should support you in all your deeds, always, at the same time warning you against wrong moves and actions.
I hope my true friends will warn me when I act without reason, boast of myself in any ways, claim myself great and knowledgeable, and against my cupidity, unjustifiable desires and arrogance. I also hope that they will support me in my constructive biases, attitudes and arguments towards life, without which a life is never a life at all.

--Sandeep Palakkal

Tears, silence and some pessimism

On October 5th, 2009, I  woke up to the terrible news of  a huge flood that badly affected Andhra Pradesh and Karnataka.  The photograph in the front page of The Hindu daily was very much disturbing.  No other photo of any calamity or anything else has ever wounded me so deeply before.  Expressing courtesy to The Hindu, let me add a copy of the same here; it is small and of low resolution, unlike the one in the hard copy of the newspaper.  The same, along with that day's news is available here: http://www.hindu.com/2009/10/05/stories/2009100557090100.htm.
The caption reads like this: "SHATTERED HOPE: A woman cries on seeing her submerged house at P. Garlapadu village, about 180 km from Hyderabad, in Mahabubnagar district of Andhra Pradesh on Sunday".

I invite you to take a close look at the picture, see the heartbreaking sorrow on her face.  This is not from a movie that I watch sometime: this is real, so chillingly real.  I don't know why I was deeply hurt by it...  I sat on my bed, wordless, looking at the picture for quite a while.  My mind was trying to imagine what all agonies were going on in  that poor woman's mind.  She must be one from that vast majority of the Indian population who struggle for their everyday meal, who don't have time, knowledge, patience and privilege to think about what people like me are worried about: faster internet connection, technology revolution, IT parks, economic recession, the poor quality of roads, whether Shashi Tharoor was right to use the word "cattle class", whether drinking coco-cola was unhealthy, if Indian movies are up to the mark from the international perspective, whether "The Name of the Rose" is the best novel I've ever read, whether ancient Indian contribution to science and mathematics is rightly acknowledged, whether finding water in moon was important to science at all, what are the best skills an engineer should possess, and so on.  All she used to worry about was just the everyday meal, not even about her children's education or diet, for they were too luxurious for her to afford.  Now, she has lost everything --- everything she has built on through years of hard work, which she can't even dream of doing again.  The loss of all hopes, all dreams, and the knowledge that she has no chance of being happy ever again... a bunch of emotions this emptiness can create in you --- this is what I can read on her face.  She, as her belongings, is encountering a horrifying state of oblivion from which there is no escape.  All she can do is just cry helplessly --- and that is what she is doing.  I feel deeply wounded, very deeply wounded....  I am more and more ashamed thinking of the privileges I am enjoying in this world, and all my complaints, anxieties, self-pride, self-esteem, self-respect, are belittled and silenced at once in front of her tears.

Time and again, we have said that India is yet to grow like the US or UK or France or Malaysia etc., that we don't have good facilities, that our people have no civic sense, that we have no self-respect and so on.  Now I understand the cold reality of the Indian situation, or broadly the human condition on earth.  And I understand my nation, its limitations and its poverty unconditionally.  I am just silenced, and I have no more complaints but only an inner awareness of a new enlightenment on the need to make India, not a super power, a hub of technology and science and business, but, at least, a place for humans to live, loving each other, without the need for  an unjustifiably herculean effort to do so.  She will be (is already) an inspiration for me throughout my life.

--Sandeep Palakkal

On Mullaperiyar and then, on an old brotherhood: continued...

To my previous article "on Mullaperiyar and then, on an old brotherhood", I would like to add something.  This issue should be seen in the light of the recent flood in Andhra Pradesh and Karnataka, and the Telungana Rashtra Samithi chief K. Chandrashekhara Rao's allegation that it was due to the bad and unscientific irrigation works ('Jalayagnam') motivated by bribery and corruption of the late Y.S.R. Reddy-led Congress government that was truly responsible for it, and not the nature's fury.  Whether this allegation is true is yet to be established.  However, taking a disillusioned look at the presence of corruption in the Indian government offices and politics, it may be reasonable to argue that there is a significant probability that this allegation could be true, or something like this can happen.  Forget the corruption story.  Think if something similar happens in Kerala due to the raising of the water level as TN advocates.  Think how horrifying it would be.  Think how much damage it can cause, not only to the lives of the human beings living around the dam, but to the relationship between the states and its peoples!  It will be a great damage to India as a nation.  It is time to take a responsible decision and to act.

On Mullaperiyar and then, on an old brotherhood

Foreword: I am afraid this is a long note, and if a reader does not have the patience to read it fully, it is not surprising. In that case, I urge you to read the end part, for a partial read may result in misunderstandings.

I was wondering about the ongoing dispute between the Kerala and Tamil Nadu governments (luckily not peoples) on the Mullaperiyar dam.  This very dam is inside the Kerala state, but the dam and the surrounding areas are owned by Tamil Nadu (TN).  TN wants to increase the water storage level to 142 feet from the current (I am not sure if it is still current) 136 feet, a move that Kerala opposes, citing that the dam is not strong enough to withstand this and that the surrounding area is heavily crowded by humans; human safety is more important.  Kerala is ready to build a new dam, which TN can continue to use.  But, for some reason or the other, TN does not agree with this proposition.  Kerala was asked to maintain the 142 feet water level by the Hon. Supreme court of India in 2006.  However, the later studies on the safety of the dam, conducted independently by two teams comprising the professors from IIT Roorkee and IIT Delhi, both concluded that the dam was "hydrologically unsafe".  TN has rejected this report, saying that "the study by IITs can't be relied upon", and that another study by the state (TN) has shown that the dam was safe!  I personally don't understand the logic behind this argument.  Kerala has repeatedly informed the Hon. Supreme court of India that it was "more concerned with the safety of our people" (The Hindu, Feb 12, 2009).  And, TN has rejected (on Feb 12, 2009) the Supreme court’s (not Kerala government's) proposal to form an expert committee to examine if the dam can withstand the pressure of the raised water level. Why is this (I will call 'negative') attitude from TN?

A couple of days back TN has gone to the Supreme court again, this time to stay the permission the central government (through the Union Minister of State for Environment and Forests Jairam Ramesh) has given to Kerala to conduct a survey and an investigation in the Periyar Tiger Reserve to find out the possibilities of constructing a new dam in place of the existing Mullaperiyar dam.  What is ironic is that, Ms. Jayalalitha, who is the main political foe of Mr. Karunanidhi, the Hon. Chief Minister (CM) of TN, has hailed this decision of the government!  To see the irony, you must remember that Jayalalitha's appreciation of Karunanidhi's decision came just one day after she had criticized the state's (TN) and the center's move to help the "stateless" Srilankan Tamils who took refuge in India to get settled here by making them permanent citizens.  In reply, DMK (the political front led by Karunanidhi) criticized Jayalalitha "for politicizing the issue" of Srilankan Tamils.  Reading between the lines, it may be relevant to ask a question:  is Mullaperiyar issue a matter of prestige than reason among the political parties of TN?  Because, in all other issues they fight each other, but only in this issue they "stand together"!

Well, I don't intend to construe the situation in any way.  I just asked a question, that's all.  I know how bold a stand Karunanidhi had taken in the past regarding the RAMASETHU issue.  He had stayed with reason and scientific logic than religious feelings and mythology.  He did not change his stand even after most of the Indian leaders deplored his comments in the later days.  This demands great respect.  I wish if he takes the similar stand in the Mullaperiyar issue also.  To grow above ones own biases and prejudices and stand with the logic is not only heroic but very much required to maintain amity between the societies, and we expect this quality more from the leaders because their responsibilities are greater.

Now let me tell you why I suddenly wrote this article.  There are mainly two reasons: out of concern and out of love.  First, let me explain my concern.  Today, Kerala's water resource minister Mr. N.K. Premachandran said that the response of the TN's recent move for a stay on the survey will be "strong protest".  I don't understand the logic behind this either.  First of all, there is a speculation that the TN's attitude is due to political reasons than logical.  In  that case, how can a "strong protest", however strong that may be, help?  If I were the minister, I would have understood the special nature of the situation and tried in all possible ways (through discussions, dialogues, meetings and every democratic and diplomatic means) to convince the TN government and its people the seriousness and truth of the situation and the need for constructing a new dam at the earliest.  I would have also listened to all concerns of TN regarding the new dam and taken measures to alleviate them.  Our politicians have to mature yet.  Now the second reason for writing this note: love.  It is rather brotherhood or love between the brothers.  Kerala minister Mr. M.A. Baby came to Chennai recently for participating in an Onam celebration of Chennai Malayalees.  He asked the Malayali community here and to the people of TN to uphold the long standing brotherhood between them.  And it was in the recent past that Karunanidhi declared Onam a holiday immediately (just in three days, the Hindu newspaper says) at the request of the Chennai Malayali community.  There is an obvious long standing relationship between the states.  But the recent disputes (besides the Mullaperyar, we have the Southern railway division issue also) are quite disturbing.  When one looks into the comments by Malayalis and Tamils in websites and groups discussing these disputes, there is a split.  Well, I don't want to mention those comments here, which will only malign my blog.  On the other hand, the objective is to forget them and reaffirm the age-old ties. It is only through  amicable, diplomatic and democratic proceedings that we can sort out this (seemingly simple) issue; this needs a lot of discipline from both parties.  I hope this will happen soon and my country (India, not just Kerala) will be safe and out of any internal splits.

This is my personal view, which is obviously not very educated, for I am not an expert in all these; I am just an engineer(ing student).  I have not given a precise list of references I have used to write this article; by and large, it is the Hindu newspaper's online contents and some other chhotta-motta websites.  The article about the Mullaperiyar dispute in wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mullaperiyar_Dam) has been a good read; the references therein are also very helpful.  For a comprehensive history of the dispute, which I did not mention in the article, see R. Krishnakumar's article in Frontline at http://www.hinduonnet.com/fline/fl1724/17240420.htm.

If someone find out any kind of bias or prejudice in the above article, please convey the same to me.  I hope there is none.  I don't look at Kerala and Tamil Nadu differently, and so not at Tamils and Malayalis.  I love both.  If Malayalam is my great mother, Tamil is my great grandmother.  And  greater is my beloved nation: India.

--Sandeep Palakkal.

In the woods, with mysteries

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

--Robert Frost, Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening, 1923.

Thanks Frost for your really enchanting poem "stopping by woods on a snowy evening".  I still remember myself, as a boy, reading it, reciting it, and learning it by heart during my school days!

Hindsight: Taking a different perspective now, I understand that I have no promises to keep and no miles to go before I sleep.  I am man of no objectives; there is nothing to do, nothing to achieve... .  I too am astonished by the beauty and mysteries surrounding me.  Like a child under some magical influence, I have forgotten myself; I have forgotten the past and the future; I have forgotten where I am; and I no longer have a sense of anything else but this soothing existence.  I am feeling quite calm and serene  now.   Dear Frost, please forget me, I am not subscribed to your view. Let me stay here forever, just enjoying the lovely, dark and deep mysteries... .

Let me just believe that I am going to live forever...
My dear friend, what else is a better belief,
And what else is a better relief,
In this ephemeral existence full of grief?

--Sandeep Palakkal, 2009.

Scientific Quests

Let me keep myself open to every scientific thoughts from every directions.
Let me keep my mind ready to learn from anyone, anywhere, at any time.
To be objective in thoughts, to be inspired by mysteries,
To learn more and more, to imagine more and more,
Let me gather all of my energy...

--Sandeep Palakkal